Seating divorced or separated parents at a wedding

Create physical separation early

The most common mistake is trying to be fair by placing both families at equal distances from the couple. Fairness in proximity isn't what matters here. What matters is that neither parent spends the evening in the other's direct line of sight.

Think about sightlines, not just distance

Two tables can be equidistant from the top table but have a very different relationship to each other depending on the room layout. Where possible, choose positions where each parent's table isn't facing the other's directly.

New partners and extended families

If either parent has a new partner, seat them with guests who are already comfortable with that relationship. Avoid placing them near guests who may make it awkward — however subtly.

Keep the couple out of it

The couple should not be managing family politics on their wedding day. Make these decisions early, communicate the plan clearly to any family members likely to raise it, and commit to the arrangement. Revisiting it closer to the date adds unnecessary stress. Treat it as part of seating the rest of your guests, rather than a separate problem to solve on its own.

When both parents want to be "close"

If closeness to the couple is important to both parents, consider how the room is oriented and whether "close" can mean different things — nearest the couple during the meal versus nearest during speeches, for example. A plan that gives each parent something can be easier to land than one that positions them in direct competition.

See also: assigned tables vs. assigned seats — assigning specific seats (not just tables) gives you full control over adjacency.